To Meri, my annoying writer-
I see that I'm stuck being the comic relief of the party, which I guess is okay in principle since I do love mischief and fun, but you're taking it a bit too far. I mean, having me turn into a tree so that the rest of the party can hide under me to escape wyverns is fine, but letting the gnome girl climb me and hide in my hair… er… branches is embarrassing. And then you had me help clean the dragon's lair which was also fine, but you joke about me carrying a feather duster and wearing an apron, and how it looked so nice with my “dress” and accentuated my hips. It's a robe, for Hermes' sake! And then the DM joins in and mentions SwampFox wearing a French maid's costume, too! Fortunately, he didn't understand what you two were talking about, and I wasn't about to translate that insanity into orcish. Sheesh! I'm going to go hide in the cavern somewhere and see if I can be granted any spells that would work well against you; do you think "Summon Insects" or "Trip" could cross worlds to get there?
Cyneric Conroy, Order of the Fleet Fox