Dear Writer (from Seph)

I should have known that you wouldn't let me just wash my hands of this mess and return to Zet. Now I'm caught in a prophecy that I shouldn't have been able to hear which doesn't even make much sense in a place I shouldn't be in the first place. I know (or at least think I know) what parts were about me and what parts were the annoying elf, but who are the other three people involved? If you're going to force me to eavesdrop, at least give me more information! Being told "your elf knows more than he lets on" isn't particularly helpful when he won't tell me anything. I am not one of your immoral Messengers, as similar as you seem to think I am; I'm not going to use mind control to get that out of him.

Besides, I think his god was on to something with the assumption that Raff will react angrily if he learns I've been recruited to keep him safe. If I try to ask what's up, he's going to suspect something and go on the offensive again. I'd rather not be punched in the jaw or tackled again, thank you. I know I can immediately heal, but that's not the point. I'm not the elf's keeper, his tamer, or his punching bag, which is what you and certain gods seem to want from me.

Speaking of, know what really gets me? You could have given some sort of warning that I was speaking with a god! A "Hey, Seph, keep your trap shut so you don't spill snark all over the conversation" would have sufficed. And since when can a deity speak to someone who isn't His own? I could understand if you'd had Eros "ask" for my help, but why Hermes? Is one headstrong elf enough to change the way things have always worked? What is really going on here? It's more than just having to keep him safe, particularly since three others apparently have to share our quest (whatever that is), isn't it? Something big is heading towards us. I don't need functioning eyes to be able to see that.

If it wouldn't be too terribly much trouble, perhaps you can give me a hint of what this is before it happens so I can keep my word and not, you know, let the elf get killed and have the wrath of an angry god fall on me. I'd prefer to avoid that type of ire at all costs and I'd rather not lose Raff if that can be prevented, either. (Shut it, Writer. It's just easier to get around when I travel with someone who can see.)

Unrelated to the rest of this, I want to add that I'm not happy with the addition of yet another pet. We don't need a bird. Are you trying to get us kicked out of the inn? I'm still not happy about that lie to get us there, by the way. In fact, I'm not happy about any of this. Gee, is that obvious?

~Your unamused Knight of Wands,

((Time for another letter from one of my current characters! Try to ignore his ill humor; he's not usually quite this bad, I promise.))



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